HOLY HELL
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HOLY HELL |
| Original Outline | |||||||||||||||||
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Preface
Holy Hell is a story, not a love story but those who read it are sure to fall in love with it. As for the lines, I have written a play, my play. It is probably not going to be the play that gets shown. There is great flexibility in it. I merely wish to present the plot. Each character can extract and add to the play. There may be things in the play that will be in bad taste for the boys. These we will have to change. For heaven's sake, please don't hold back, if you feel we shouldn't do something, say so. | |
| Scene 1 | |
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We are in the here-after and looking in on a final judgement of characters that the boys should recognize. There are three doors leading to Earth, Heaven and Hell. St Michael enters and calls the court to order. St Peter comes on and sings "Pearly Gates" (each character will have a theme song or tune played as they enter). The Devil breaks in. A bet ensues as to which one will gain more customers. The Devil has two helpers, "Methylated Spirits" Corruption and Repulsion who are Hell's Angels bedecked in motorcycle outfits ("Born to Be Wild"). St Michael acts as the court stenographer and introduces each character in a matter-of-fact manner. He also keeps tally on a chalk board. There should be an over-riding theme of M.O.D. (God) throughout the play. Samson is represented as a holy man after his hair has been cut. Therefore, he is physically weak. Delilah carries a picket sign "I Hate Hippies" "Down With Long Hair" and a large pair of scissors. She attempts to trim St Peter's beard. The Devil cons her into being a barber in his kingdom. Hannibal is a poor excuse for a leader (e.g. "Who made a feeble attempt to crush the alps with 3000 elephants. He insults St Peter and ends up in Hell. Cleopatra is carried on by two slaves. The devil tries to win her but she is attracted to St. Peter. Since is isn't allowed into Heaven, she pick-pockets the key, but before she can get in the Devil impresses her and she decides to go to Hell. Bluebeard A few pirates break out ale and are having a good time kidding St Peter about wearing a "dress". Bluebeard enters and shows no kindness to his men. He is known to have hung men by their thumbs for speaking "local languages". The Devil gives him a map for a buried treasure with "X" marking the door to Hell. The Devil plants a banana peel. When Bluebeard slips on it Florence Nightengale comes on to bandage his wounds and takes his hat. Following the map they arrive at the door to Hell but can't recognize the "X" because it is up-side-down, so the Devil has to go over and rotate it. Napolean a "love power" exponent who tiptoes around throwing flowers and saying: "Love" and "Peace". Igor who is a hunchback and ugly as sin and also happens to be Frankenstein's only friend. Frankenstein bashes through the door and menaces the audience. Igor drags hime back. They are doomed to Hell, but Igor pleads saying that the monster is good. He plays a flute and Frank dances. But when the music stops he explodes and breaks things. Frank Nitty two gansters come on with machine guns and train them on the audience then Frank frisks St Peter, St Michael. When frisks the Devil he finds a knife: "From QVS dining hall". Al Capone an old friend of the Devil comes on and strieks of a deal to supply Hell with home brew bottled under the name "Cola-X". Selma a roaring '20s swinger breaks onto the stage unannounced in search of "Al, Baby". Hitler comes on with great pomp, importance and power only to be turned into a scared rabbit by St. Peter's cold stare. Asked to explain his actions, he sets off ina typical Hitler tirad with maybe a little Charlie Chaplin thrown in to confuse the audience. James Bond coems on with women clinging to him. When Devil finds out that Bond has a license to kill he wants one too. So Bond tries to call "M" at headquarters using a conch shell. Tells the Devil that he'll fly to Hellena, Greece to pick it up. Stewardess Cofitiormi comes on, wraps her self around Bond casting off the other women and leads him to "First Class" - "I'll show you how to fly". Superman a reporter comes on uncalled for and perplexes St Michael as he can't find any record of a Clark Kent dying. So Clark takes off his suit, after trying to find a phone booth ("vale lailai") to reveal that his in fact Superman. As he tries to fly off he slips on the banana peel and Florence N comes on to bandage him up with lines like: "Yes, of course you can fly, dear" "My what big muscles". She takes Kent's reporter hat (she collects hats). Alarm goes off and St Michael blows his bugle behind Devil who falls in fright (enter Florence: "Of course you're the Devil, Dear"). MOD annouces that it is time for supper - everyone to the dining hall. | |
| Scene 2 | |
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Dining Hell (not Hall). Disorderlies, dressed in rags set the table. They have signs on that say "4B". One rings a bell. Devil, Corruption, Delilah, Cleopatra, Bluebeard, Selma, Hitler, James Bond, stewardess and Hannibal enter and sit down. Beatles sing a song Pie throwing Thunder and lightning Everyone stops. Voice over loudspeaker says: "This is M.O.D. speaking. LIGHTS OUT". They do. | |
| Finis | |