2015 - No. 6         www.malecek.com                2015 No 6

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES

OCTOBER 23-24 2015

8AM - Drag my leaky body out of bed and shave. No food no drink.

9AM - Arrive at Southern Cross private Grace Hospital in Oropi New Zealand and admitted by Pauline. Found a mobile phone under chair in waiting room. Nurses scramble after owner. After a short wait Vicki goes through all the documents with us, putting red ALARM stickers onto everything (my allergy to scents). She measures my weight (74Kg ) height (5’7” - meaning I have shrunk an inch in my old age), does an ECG (heart in excellent shape). Has trouble doing a blood glucose test and I end up with blood over both of my hands. Well, the operation didn’t kill me but the diabetes test did.

10AM - Brought to a waiting cubicle and onto a bed, where the doctor, Andre, and I discuss the epidemical cyst that I had in 1983. Anaesthetist, Mark, and I chat about his vacation in the States.

11AM - Jo and Tim wheel me next to the operating room, from where I walk in and get on the table. Out for the count and ATOMS device attached to two bones via mesh.

NOON - At an unspecified time I awake in the recovery room where I didn’t recover. Woke up in my private room.

1PM - Jenni, from South Africa, begins the paracetamol regimen (every 6 hours) and to begin drinking more than you can possibly cope with (ice water and brewed coffee). Blood Pressure 140/74

2PM - Run through the SKY TV options and watched UCLA Bruins beat California Golden Bears 40-24.

3PM - Gail visits. Kiwi Karen takes over and is not happy with my glucose reading of 13.6.

4PM - Judy Kelley (agent for Bay Urology) stops in to discuss the long term care and what to expect.

5PM - Oxygen tube removed.

6PM - Most excellent supper of Curried carrot and Cashew soup, Crunchy nut Chicken, V8 juice and a large orange which I sliced and after eating the first piece Karen stops me from anymore, quoting “13.6”.

7PM - Brewed coffee came with a ginger nut cookie. I had planned if the tea lady, Rosa, had asked why I hadn’t eaten the cookie I was going to say that the “Nazi Nurse” wouldn’t let me. Unfortunately, Karen didn’t come to see that I had the cookie sitting there. So I wrapped it in the serviette and hid it under my blankets. When I went to brush my teeth Karen made the bed and discovered it. I told her of my two plans, the other being if she asked if I had eaten the cookie, I was going to look sheepish (easily done in NZ) and then whip the cookie out.

8PM - Antibiotic drip removed.

9PM - Reading The Secret History by Donna Tartt

10PM - Shuffle through stations and watched news programs.

11PM - Watched 2nd half of the Seattle Seahawks defeat of the hopeless San Francisco 49ers (team that Jarryd Hayne was on for 6 games).

MIDNIGHT - No sign of a nurse since Karen left at 10:30PM and I was out of water, so I buzzed and after a long wait Paula arrived and was pretty much tardy on everything, BP, glucose, evening pills...as if she didn’t know I existed.

1AM - Have the leg pressure pumps removed from legs, my cotton socks put on and the drip line area covered with elastic bandage. Try to sleep, but can’t.

2AM - Toss and turn

3AM - Time for pills and Paula gives me a hot chocolate and diabetic cookies and the hell with glucose readings.

4AM - Once again try to sleep but can’t.

5AM - Maybe just maybe I sleep

6AM - Catheter removed

7AM - Rosa back on duty with ice water. Compliments me because I am making my bed up after the rough night.

8AM - Breakfast: pear slices, porridge, plain yoghurt, wholemeal toast and lite cranberry juice

9AM - Andre visits and says that the numbness is probably from the local anaesthetic applied at end of op.

10AM - After talking about 9-11 and conspiracies Mark says the numbness must be from the operation, and explains three types of nerve damage. Gail calls.

11AM - Given the all clear to go home. Jenni lectures me on blood clots and says that someone wrote in my chart that I was “abnormally normal”. Given an implant identification card that will get me through metal detectors.

NOON - Gail picks me up. Early stages but feel positive about the implant and the end of four years of suffering.

Stayed tuned for updates.

Postscript The Secret History is 559 pages of small type. I read 164 pages over two weeks and finished the remaining pages while in the hospital. But I don’t recommend this as a speed reading methodology.

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